


Your faith has got to be greater than your fear

by Claus_Lucas



Category: Mother 1 | EarthBound Zero | EarthBound Beginnings
Genre: Gen, everyone has a good time that's it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-18 03:38:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9366377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Claus_Lucas/pseuds/Claus_Lucas
Summary: Lloyd thinks he might have found a father figure. The father figure gifts him a flamethrower.





	

**Author's Note:**

> [you drop your guard, you don't have to be smart all of the time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pl15PlIXHIk)

Ninten is the first to suggest that they take up the offer at the Live House. He’s an outgoing boy with an eye for fun, faithful to the resolution he made when he left home to experience as much as possible. He’s especially fond of any activity that engages others, often roping his friends into participating. “This could be an excellent bonding opportunity!” is his usual form of persuasion.

Ana, with a simper, says she’s on board if he is. Lloyd steps back, preparing an excuse for why he’d rather sit this one out. His friends, however, climb onto the stage before noticing his apprehension. Ana and Ninten pass the microphone back and forth for a bit before letting it settle with Ninten. Music starts pouring from the speakers and Ninten taps his foot to pinpoint the rhythm. Ana removes her hat, swaying a little bit while she hums.

Lloyd’s response is to try to retreat into the crowd. He manages to turn around but hasn’t walked far when Ana’s hat lands on his head. A weak electrical shock accompanies it so she must’ve used PSI to ensure its trajectory. Two scenarios play out in his head: Lloyd joins them, willingly and without protest; and Lloyd attempts to run, only to be caught by Ninten and carried up on his shoulder. Lloyd can feel both of their gazes nailed to his back, warm and expectant, the innocent sort of invitation that would lead to hurt if it were refused. Sometimes their disposition weighs around Lloyd’s neck like a cross, but he really shouldn’t think in such a black and white manner. After all, first and foremost, they’re a blessing.

“Hey, where’re you going, Lloyd?” Ninten says, his voice magnified by the microphone.

Lloyd’s been traveling with them for a while but he’s not quite used to this spotlight treatment yet. Being regarded as someone worth signaling out, people making a big deal out of him trying to disappear - it’s all very new.

“Yeah, where are you going? Come join us!” Ana shouts.

She’s not usually the sort to insist when someone displays reluctance. Instead she opts for making it clear that any offer she makes (along with her support channels) are always open so people can approach her when they’re ready. If she’s calling him, then she must’ve seen something special in this.

Ana’s also exceedingly cautious (well, when it comes to others: she once shoved her arm into the mouth of a wolf to stop them from taking a bite out of Ninten). Can’t hurt if Ana’s vouched for it, right?

Deep breaths, like when he’s trying to mitigate anxiety-induced insomnia. Then he approaches, his head lowered, his fingers fiddling with his shirt. If one of his friends were to shout again, he might just jump - or fall to the floor.

Lloyd keeps his eyes on the floor so he doesn’t accidentally bump into the sage. As soon as it comes into view, Ana and Ninten stoop down to grab him by the wrists. He’s hoisted up and then released so he can steady himself. Ana wraps an arm around his shoulder, offering him an expression that is one third apologetic and the rest excited. Her hat is still on his head.

Ninten starts to sing, lyrics that are vaguely based on something Lloyd’s heard from him before but overall invented on the spot. His voice can be tuned quite nicely when he tries yet on this occasion he lets passion guide him. Ana continues to hum as if she wants to join in, finally managing to during the second round of chorus. Lloyd, meanwhile, sticks close to her, feeling protected by her half embrace and somewhat out of the spotlight. Surely his friends must be drawing the crowd’s attention.

Possessing no dancing experience, Lloyd is clueless as to how he should act. He seeks Ana’s hand for extra support and she seems to infer something from it, interrupting her singing so she can giggle and then nod her head. Her eyes glimmer with zeal while she extends her arm to grab Ninten in the same manner.

Ninten drops the microphone, sending a high-pitched crackle through the auditorium. Lloyd covers his ear with the one unoccupied hand. Ninten has to pry it away, gently and with a, “sorry, are you all right?”

Lloyd nods. The next moment he’s being spun in circles, his arms forming a chain with his friends. Ana’s face is red and her laughter periodically bursts into snorts. Lloyd senses that electrical current again, lively and gathering for something, like sparks trying to start a fire. It bounces back and forth between Ana and Ninten, one of those psychic things in which Lloyd can’t participate but at least knows them well enough to spectate.

Ninten shuts his eyes. He focuses on giving the energy a material form, fashioning a sphere of prism-like light. It reminds Lloyd of the view of an aquarium through mosaic glass.

When Ninten opens his eyes, the sphere explodes. The shower splashes them as if it were water, small strobes of light transforming into fireworks. Lloyd is accustomed to such displays, whether psychic or scientific in nature, but the change is unexpected and shakes his balance. He lets go of his friends, stumbling to the floor.

Ana and Ninten stop. The current is now charged with worry, adding to Lloyd’s anxiety. Whenever their emotions manifest as psychic energy, Lloyd experiences them at a particular intensity.

Something else is happening. The lights of the establishment flicker on and off. The music halts completely. A silence has descended over the audience that’s only punctured by a set of heavy footsteps.

Ana turns around to meet a man nearly twice her size that has stepped onto the stage. Several designs featuring flowers and animals are embroidered into his leather jacket. Ninten recognizes them from a couple of unsavory encounters that they’ve had while exploring Valentine.

Ana and Ninten exchange alarmed looks. The stranger’s expression is impossible to read thanks to his red shades but they don’t expect a friendly greeting. Ninten steps forward to stand next to Ana, trying to stop himself from shivering.

Having dropped his glasses when he fell, Lloyd is now searching for them with little success. His vision without glasses is so blurred that prolonged exposure - about ten minutes or so - incubates headaches. Plus, it stabs him with a familiar sense of powerlessness that’s hard to shake off afterwards.

The stranger doesn’t pause until he’s standing a couple of feet in front of them. Blood coats one of his hands but, judging by his relaxed demeanor, it isn’t his.

“Hey, you’re the ones that’ve been beatin’ up my guys. Ain’t ya?”

Ninten can tell from his voice alone that he’s like the rest of his gang: the only right answer is no answer. Anything else is a challenge, and fights are settled with fists.

This guy seems to have more than his fists equipped.

Ninten nearly has a panic attack when the stranger brandishes a knife, which is also soaked with blood. Ninten hates fighting in general, but he hates fighting with people even more, and he hates fighting with actual weapons involved the most. Even aliens and military robots are less terrifying than a human with malicious intentions.

“Aight, which one of you is the leader? That’s who I’ll fight.”

Ana helps Ninten calm down by touching his back.

Lloyd finds his glasses.

* * *

A lot has changed since Lloyd embarked on this journey with Ninten and Ana. Not all of it has been good, but he’s been keeping an open mind, trying to make the best of the circumstances they’re met with. When it’s good, and they’re having fun, and he can feel himself growing closer to them and more confident in himself - well, that’s what makes the danger and hardship worthwhile; that’s what he thinks back to when apprehension ties a noose around his chest.

There are instances of sudden and debilitating fear but once he finds his footing again it’s as if it never happened. Lloyd is a very temporal boy, anchored in the present and whatever he’s currently experiencing. The future is a room of smoke and mirrors as far as he’s concerned, a landscape impossible to envision. When he thinks he can hear the church bells tolling for him, it can be difficult to understand that he won’t be swamped by that dread forever. On the other hand, when happiness winds its halo around his head, he abandons past fears and embraces a timeliness bliss.

What really troubles Lloyd are the subtle insecurities. Like growing pains, they begin deep in his bones, hindering everyday activities in such minuscular manners that he can’t pinpoint the source. Eventually the negative feelings cluster together to obstruct him in more damaging ways: impeding speech, exhausting him with stress, hatching irrational fits of crying, thinking only adversibly of himself, his actions, and his involvement with others. Lloyd is actually quite good at understanding his issues once they come into clear view but taking action to fix them is another matter. He can be a little reckless when he’s desperate and his resolution aren’t always the wisest, especially for him.

A particular dilemma has been building inside of Lloyd that reaches a turning point while he watches Ninten fight Teddy. “Inadequacy” is the best way to describe it. Lloyd wasn’t cut from a hero’s mold but he’s learned that value and utility exists even in people like him. This was fine throughout the first leg of their adventure. Though it’s always been perilous, it has gradually increased in risk. He hasn’t always been able to come to his friends’ aid. Lately he’s wondered whether his position would be better occupied by someone with superior capabilities. They’re saving the world, after all - if he’s an objectively poor party member, then no amount of sentimentality should keep him around.

Of course, Lloyd can’t just up and leave without reason (“something is better than nothing,” he tells himself). This changes when Teddy appears. He poses as a villain, but soon reveals his true intentions. He also appears to be a good judge of character.

Teddy looks each of them over, then pauses in front of Lloyd.

“You, four eyes - you look like you don’t want to fight. I can take your place.”

All three of them are surprised. Ninten opens his mouth to object, indignation scrawled across his face, but Lloyd’s response is even more immediate.

“All right,” says Lloyd. The relief in his tone further bewilders his friends.

“What?” asks Ana.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while,” Lloyd says, “there’s no sense getting too into it but… the short version is I’m tired, okay? You guys are heading to Holy Loly Mountain next. Let Teddy take my place.”

* * *

They each have a different idea of how the situation should be handled. Ninten wants to talk Lloyd into reconsidering, convinced that Lloyd’s only putting himself down because he thinks he isn’t good enough. Ana doesn’t want to trigger any additional stress by dragging Lloyd into a discussion. Ninten doesn’t mean to force Lloyd, but Ana knows that Lloyd’s partial to agreeing with Ninten regardless of his personal feelings.

“I know Lloyd. He’ll let us know when he’s ready to rejoin. For now let’s give him some space, show him that we respect his decisions,” Ana says.

“ _I_ know Lloyd, too,” Ninten argues, “and he’ll regret this. If we don’t insist, he’ll think we don’t care.”

“If we _insist_ , he’ll become stubborn and take longer to approach us again. You’re aware of that Ninten.”

“Well, what about when he kept saying that he was fine but actually needed healing? You had to demand he let you heal him.”

“That was different. We’re not going to demand he goes with us to Holy Loly Mountain, Ninten.”

“We’re just not going to agree is what’s happening.”

Teddy interrupts.

“Mind if I talk to him?” he asks.

Ana and Ninten don’t see why not.

Lloyd expects company but not Teddy. He’s lying on a hotel bed, thinking about how he’s going to spend the time now that he’ll be alone. Various devices and machine parts are scattered across the ground. His friends don’t know how to operate them so he might as well tinker away during their absence.

Teddy greets Lloyd with a wave of his hand, settling down in a nearby chair while Lloyd scampers to sit up. Lloyd should reciprocate with something but any attempt to speak gets caught in his throat. Teddy flashes him a broad smile. Lloyd gets this strange feeling that he’s being forgiven for something, which is actually relieving.

“First, what’s your name?” Teddy asks.

“Lloyd,” the boy answers.

“Lloyd. Aight. I just hate not knowing what to address people. Good to see you’re getting to rest, Lloyd.”

Lloyd doesn’t know if he should be expecting anything. Teddy seeking him out like this certainly seems meaningful, but, then again, perhaps that’s the end of it.

Lloyd nods, then turns away, pretending to have been captivated by something happening outside the window. This is how one exits conversations, right?

Teddy, however, has a couple of things that he’d like to tell Lloyd.

“I’m a guy that always says what’s on my mind,” Teddy begins, “even if it might seem rude, or it’s something that most people wouldn’t want pointed out, I can’t help it usually. I don’t really keep secrets, either. Pretty much the whole of Valentine knows my life story so I don’t mind answering questions. I’ve got nothing to lose except for my life and I can guard that well enough. But you’ve been in this city for a while so you’ve definitely heard a thing or two about me. They were probably all bad, but hey, that’s my reputation. I was surprised you didn’t put up a fight when I signaled you out back there. I guess you really must’ve meant the whole being tired thing. You look like the not fighting type anyway, and I’ll tell you why.”

His speech is a little convoluted, connecting several points without being clear as to why. Since Lloyd isn’t expected to respond, though, he can focus entirely on what’s being said and understands most of it. Teddy has an intimidating aura but he doesn’t seem like the unexpected kind: he has to announce everything he plans, whether it’s verbally or with gestures. Perhaps that’s what he’s doing now.

Lloyd watched Teddy interact with Ana and Ninten for a while. Teddy’s proud but recognizes when someone is stronger or better suited to be leader. He’s pretty vocal about how he’s been awed by these two meek looking but in fact extraordinarily strong children. Ana’s offensive PSI especially seems to have humbled him. He has no problem following their instructions.

Teddy proceeds without waiting for Lloyd to face him. He’s certain that Lloyd’s listening.

“I don’t have a justification for how I ended up. People either want to pin a tremendous amount of blame on me or extract me from it completely. I can’t say I understand that because, besides my parents being killed, every choice in my life has been my own. It’s just what I’ve wanted to do with it, ya know? Maybe they weren’t the best, but they’re probably not the worst, either. It’s a long story and people have a short attention span when it involves gossip. They want the most important details, like my parents being killed, forcing me to become independent. I hear them say a lot, too, that I was always a good kid before losing my parents. That’s not really true but who's got time to correct gossip? You’re not from around here, and what’s more you’re just passing through, but hear me out, aight? I swear there’s a good reason for subjecting you to all of this.”

Teddy possesses a peculiar insight. He’s halfway through his twenties, so he’s an adult, but he’s really just starting to understand the emotional maturity that comes with it. Hardship alone hasn’t made him wiser - he has a natural inclination towards self-reflection, which starts to show as soon as someone sits down to converse with him.

So he’s compassionate, and reads himself aloud like an open book, but with the appearance of a delinquent. All of the labels Lloyd has been forced to swallow are slowly unlacing. He should look at himself and think about how different he is in the eyes of strangers. Teddy’s got a bit of that, too.

Lloyd feels significantly less tense. He’s not exactly relaxed - he never is in the presence of people he doesn’t know well -, but he isn’t holding air in his chest because he’s dealing with the irrational terror of being scolded for breathing. He even starts rocking his legs a little.

“I was brought from overseas as a toddler. Loved my parents and got coddled by them big time, so I fared poorly in school,” Teddy says, a bit of information that both surprises and interests Lloyd; “there’s no sense getting into details but it’s enough to say that kids would rather roll me down the stairs in a dumpster than try to hold a conversation with me. I made up excuses for my parents, who believed me because they were dotting, but also kind of incapable of perceiving what I was going through. I was a four eyes, too, wore big glasses like yours. I couldn’t have built a bottle rocket, though - I heard you know how to handle all sorts of things like that. No, I could barely carry all my books to school without dragging my backpack on the floor. I did change when my parents died but it’s not how anyone in this city puts it. I didn’t want to be looked after when it happened. I absolutely hated the idea of someone else being concerned or in charge of my well being. I learned enough English to hold a decent conversation so I could talk my way out of orphanages. I’d run away and skip school when that wasn’t enough. The last one to house me straight up let me do what I wanted. They turned a blind eye towards my academic and legal records. I never did anything serious but I was towing the line pretty hard. I was involved in a few gangs but they were child’s play really. Wasn’t too hard to start my own. What I figured out then is that I’ve spent all this time trying to make myself stronger, and for what? So I can look after myself? So I can avenge my parents? Both of those would be right. They’re why I’m so determined to do this. For me, there’s no choice but to climb that mountain and try to avenge my parents. This has always been what I’m fighting for.”

There’s a lot for Lloyd to consider now. He’s going to need time to digest all of it but he can start with what stands out the most. Lloyd’s earnestly shocked to discover that Teddy comes from a similar background. A deep empathy sparks in Lloyd’s mind the moment he hears about Teddy being mistreated by his peers. Lloyd inevitably imagines himself in Teddy’s place, and then Teddy in his own, wondering how the individual circumstances and personalities of people influence how they cope with difficulties - for example, could Lloyd be more like Teddy someday? Is that the reason Teddy’s talking to him?

Lloyd had Teddy pinned as the sort that’s always been strong and in control, even as a child, but it turns out that he’s been mistaken. When meeting someone for the first time, especially someone that seems so _secure_ , it can be hard to envision the fact that they carry a past and weren’t always as they’re perceived now. Lloyd’s done the same with Ninten and Ana in the past.

“Now you, I took one look at you and I knew: you’re just like how I used to be,” Teddy continues, now in a lighthearted tone that borders on humorous, “you don’t know what you’re fighting for. You think you do, but none of it is truly meaningful to you. Do you fight for your friends? To save the world? Or just to get away from home? All of that is worth fighting for, but you have to be committed to it, otherwise you’ll lose your conviction when things get tough. You said you’re tired, but what you mean is that you need time to think. So think about it. Find what you want to be strong for. What or who you’d otherwise be unable to protect.”

It makes sense - really, it does. Lloyd’s better at receiving advice than following through with it, yet for now all he can do is keep it in mind. Think about it.

He wants to give Teddy something in exchange, though. A sign that he’s understood, not just listened. There’s a difference between accepting and appreciating something. Teddy at least deserves to know that he hasn’t gone out of his way for nothing.

Perhaps, too, Lloyd wants to clarify just how _close_ Teddy’s words have hit home.

“Hey, save it,” Teddy says when Lloyd attempts to speak, “you don't have to say anything. I’m not the person who’s got to hear it anyway. I’m just a guy that thought I’d say a few words. We don’t really even know each other. When your friends come back, then you can talk. It’ll be their turn to listen.”

There’s so much Lloyd could say, though: about his father, who isn’t dead but Lloyd doesn’t really have a relationship with; about his school, his own days spent huddling in a trashcan only to get kicked around inside of there, too; about the inadequacy that led ]to his decisions to quit the team (which Teddy is aware of but can’t understand as well as Lloyd has the urge to elaborate on).

Yet, for better or for worse, Teddy seems to have sealed the subject. Now the conversation transitioning into a different chapter, the closing chapter.

Teddy stands up. Lloyd turns his head so fast that his glasses slide off. He bends down to grab them and when he straightens up Teddy places his own shades on Lloyd’s face.

“I can see!” Lloyd exclaims.

A boisterous laughter flows from Teddy’s mouth, dispelling the anxiety that’d been bothering Lloyd. Lloyd has managed, unconsciously, to mirror Teddy’s grin.

“Well, whad’ya know? We’re a match,” says Teddy.

“Wait, so these are?” asks Lloyd.

“Yeah, prescription glasses!” answers Teddy, “I had some cool looking ones made, but they’re still so I can see proper. You’re going to have to hand them back to me now because I’ll knock you over if I try to grab them.”

“That’s… that’s pretty awesome, actually,” Lloyd says, returning them to Teddy.

“Oh, right, I had something for you. Like, an actual something, not just a boring spiel.”

From behind the chair, Teddy lifts a rectangular backpack with what looks like a science fiction pistol attached by a tube. Lloyd has seen a flamethrower before, but only in photographs.

“I’ve been holding onto it for a while because I thought I could figure out how to use it - turns out I’m no good. You, on the other hand… well, I’ll leave it here with you, see what you make of it,” Teddy says.

He places the flamethrower on Lloyd’s bed, then turns to leave, waving his hand in the air exactly as when he appeared.

“See ya on the battlefield, four eyes.”


End file.
